COFFEE, CANCER AND WHITE COATS...

A new study compiled by the white coats of science, states that drinking four cups of coffee a day may protect against malignant melanoma, a deadly form of skin cancer. Study participants who drank four or more cups of coffee daily were 20 per cent less likely to develop malignant melanoma . All very good, but like all of these "studies" the first question to ask is, who's funding it? If say, Coffee Bean Growers Inc. shell out research grant moolah, it might come as no surprise they suggest drinking big black steaming mugs in volumes similar to the late Frank Zappa. Or they may hint, it may make one impervious to a plutonium leak. You might have noticed the words may, perhaps and if, abound in most newly minted studies - whatever the subject under investigation. If one takes the food and drink findings of every study as gospel - over three score years and ten - you'll be performing more U-turns than a London taxi driver in diet and life style. Everything in moderation, as yer granny may have said...

I'm sure I've found the holy grail; but first I'll need a few million
of you to die to prove my empirical evidence.