NORTH TO ALASKA!

A WhiteHouse.gov petition, "Alaska Back to Russia," has garnered more than 17,000 signatures in three days, signed by folk who have a hankering for Gulags R US. What gives? Well if you lived in the land of moose, monster mosquitoes and a 5 day summer with permafrost for your lawn, you're bound to be a bit quirky. With eight months of winter, endless days when the sun don't show and cabin fever as common as pissed up folk at a New Year party, you'd probably sign anything for a distraction. Way to go, Ivans!