TIME TRAVEL MACHINE INVENTED!

(Cartoon/Photo: Copyright Control)

An Iranian scientist claims to have invented a machine that can see into the future, the London Telegraph reported. "The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine," created by Tehran scientist Ali Razeghi, together with the state-run Center for Strategic Inventions, claims to be able to "predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy," according to a press release. Well, it should be able to predict the destruction of Iran's nuclear facilities by the very same folk that Genecide Joe claims give 95% of Iranian men a problem in tent pole department!

Ten pints? No problem! But ONE fuckin' kebab...