REMOTE CAR HACKING, SIR? THERE'S NO EXTRA CHARGE.

Remote-controlled car hacking has arrived — and with it, an important opportunity for Argus, an Israeli cyber-security start-up that currently has the world’s only effective system to detect and prevent the kind of attack demonstrated on Tuesday, when a pair of hackers took control of a Jeep Cherokee driving in St. Louis. “Argus’ mission is to promote car connectivity without compromising on security,” said Tom Bar Av, a spokesperson for the company. “In the Jeep case, as well as in other hacking attempts that have been demonstrated over the past year, our solutions could have played a pivotal role in successfully preventing such attacks from affecting a vehicle’s systems.” As my old van has manual only windows and electrics that wouldn't be out of place in the Stone Age, I've no worries. But there's something else to concern us all even more; for according to boffins, in around 20/30 years, unless we find a solution to this coming dooms-day, there will be no satellites! Even at present, there are millions of bits of killer space junk orbiting - and a piece only 2 mm in size can cripple a multi-million dollar satellite. 
So don't throw yer old maps away and buy a truckers' Charlie10-4 CB radio; because if you're still walking the earth, you'll bloody well need one!

A said double fries, hold the mayo.